Am I really.....?

I haven't posted here in ages. I need something that's more private though, and less people know about this.
I'm lonely. So where else but the internet will I go to share my feelings.

Poetically? or not whatevs.

some days I wonder if I am really a girl.

not because I'm blind to my swaying hips and ample breasts,

but because some days I wonder if I am even human.

if I have the ability to care.

or if it has atrophied from years of disuse.

and I think some are starting to notice

and reflect my apathy back to me.

I become unloved, left out, friendless.

a robot for working

a doll for sex (at least in fantasy).

which is easier than friendship anyway.

some days I wonder if I am really a girl.

because of other girls.

their camaraderie.

their giggles and tears.

so sharply contrasting with my silence and screams.

am I

am I really

am I really a

girl?

human being?

animal?

angel?

devil?

statue?

do you

know?