Tuesday, October 6, 2009

How Do You Love the Unloveable?

To be loved, you must first love, and be loveable.

Well, sir. I have discovered there is, in me, something utterly unloveable. I hope I am spelling that word correctly.
Anyway, I have not been anywhere close to my best the last few days. It seems like everything I do is the opposite of everything I know I should do. I tell myself to eat healthy, and end up snacking on candy corn pumpkins. I know I need 8 hours of sleep, and I stay up aimlessly until even 6 is out of reach. I want to spend more time focusing on God, and I facebook instead. I want to be more positive and energetic, but I curse everything and mentally check out as soon as my jazz class starts to get difficult. I am tired, cranky, apathetic, and acne-scarred. Why would anyone love me?
Yet, someone does. Someone infinite and perfect loves someone fallible and transient. It blows my mind, and is often difficult to accept. But I must get beyond the idea of meriting love, and let grace sweep in and lift me up. And with that support, I must look beyond the unloveable in others and see the love that created them, and perhaps they will be able to do the same.

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